Over the last few years my belongings have developed an annoying habit of misplacing themselves around my house. To their credit, though, they do tend to turn up again sooner or later. The two exceptions are socks and fingernail clippers, which disappear permanently on a regular basis.
I suspect that the socks are being sucked into another dimension. How else to explain the way they simply vanish somewhere during the laundering process, never to be seen again?
The disappearing fingernail clippers are equally perplexing. I've lost probably half a dozen of them in as many years. Why do I keep losing them? Where do they go???
Well, apparently they're going to the same place that the missing socks go to.
This afternoon I took a load of clothes out of the dryer, and as I started to close the door something shiny caught my eye. There, perched on top of the lint filter, was a pair of fingernail clippers.
Now, you're probably thinking that the clippers came out of the pocket of one of the items of clothing I'd just dried. And that is a fine theory indeed, Clever Reader. Unfortunately, it's wrong. I haven't washed anything with pockets in the last five or six loads of laundry, and if the clippers had come out of a pocket that long ago, I surely would have noticed them in one of the subsequent loads of laundry.
Another problem with the pocket theory is that I'm pretty sure these aren't my clippers. I'm serious. I only use a certain kind of clippers, and these ain't them.
If I start finding strange socks in my dryer too, I'll have to consider the possibility that my clothes dryer is a portal to another dimension. A two-way portal, which could make my life extremely interesting. Just imagine the possibilities.
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